MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tryouts

This was from 3/06

What a great day? I wrote before that I was thinking about trying out for the baseball team, well I did. There's not that many freshmen that are trying out for the team, there's just 3. Me, this dude names Wayne, (his brother is a Sr), and then the coach's son is trying out at catcher. There has only been 2 Freshmen that has made the team since this coach started here, which has been like 10 years.
The last 2 days have been great. We played 2 intra squad games so the coaches could see us in action. There wasn't a single ball got passed me at 1st base that I could touch, absolutely nothing. Coach even said something about it. When I was in right field, I was perfect. I threw out a couple of base runners that tried to stretch a single into a double. I backed up a play at first base and threw out the runner at second. I made a diving catch and almost threw out the runner trying to get back to second. I even played 3rd for a little while. It's not my best position but the more places I can play, the better chance I have to make the team. And the Coach is known for almost always picking Sr's and Jr's.
I hit good. I didn't hit with much power. I had a couple of doubles and 3 singles during the 2 days. I had 3 rbi's. It was a good average but 1st base and RF are power hitter positions for the most part. And I'm going up against guys that have been here their whole lives and there are 2 Sr's, a Jr, and a Soph trying out for 1st base. And there are 2 Jr's and 2 Sophs trying out for RF, so it's going to be tough to make the team. Cuts are tomorrow, so I will find out then. Wish me luck........

This was the next entry.

I really don't like this place. I didn't make the team even though I was the best 1st baseman on the team. I can hit and I play hard. The coach said that I was the best at that position but I was too young and he couldn't depend on me because I was new. And I didn't have the power that the other (older) players at that position has. Atleast he is consistent. None of the freshmen made the team, even his son. At my old school, I wouldn't have made the team either. But it would have been because I wasn't as good as the others. My old school has alot more players and it would have been probably next year or the next before I would have been able to make the team there. It just makes me mad that I was cut because I wasn't an upperclassman. This place sucks.
Well there's always summer league.

2 comments:

Brian said...

Coaches like that annoy me. Why let Kieran try out if he had no chance because he was new even though he was good? I am a coach (soccer) and it hurts team morale when players think merit plays no role in your decision making.

Jake said...

Brian I agree. The thing is that Kieran was awesome at baseball. Even when he was sick, he was great. We went to a batting cage and he was hitting 90+ mph fastballs. He had a cannon for a arm too. Baseball was his sport for sure. He loved to play soccer but he wasn't that good at it. But baseball, he was really that good.