MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.

To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Friend In Need?

This if from 2/06. He posted it before but I thought I would repost it because it is a great example of just how different Kieran looked at the world and the things that went on around him. Sometimes he saw things so different that it got him in trouble or at least made people think there was something wrong with him mentally. But I think he was one of those special people that could see almost everything from every angle. He also loved to freak people out with some of the things he would say.

I was talking to a friend about his dog. It was humping his leg. We discussed this for a minute. I've never had a pet and I don't know how I would act if my pet did that to my leg. It's kind of a weird subject to spend much time on. I got to thinking about it and came up with some things that I think are important. These are my arguments.
First is that it is your pet. He is, alot of time, your best friend and he is in need. Sorry. It's kinda hard not to smile and snicker when I think about letting him do that. But back to the point I was making: if it was another friend you would try anything to help him , right. With in reason. I mean, it's not really hurting anybody. It's just a little embarrassing.
Second is that he has no other form of relief. He can't make a fist. He is stuck in the house, with nothing but your leg. Hey, if that was me, I'd be humping everything that moved and some stuff that didn't.
Third is, what is the alternative. Don't let him do that and the next time your Aunt ______ comes over, he's humping her at Thanksgiving dinner. You know. Or your boss comes over and he goes for the knee. Stop that boy; yeah right. Let him get it out of his system and maybe everybody gets a little peace. Remember that he is your friend and he is hurting.
Fourth is, do you think he would mind if the roles were reversed. He would probably think it an honor to be the subject of your affection.
Ok, I can't say anymore. It's too much already. I do think I'm twisted and to write this blog just proves I'm right. I'm really bored and I hate it when I can't get on line much.

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