MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Friday, May 13, 2011

Read My Mind or just check out my page on __________

Some days it seems weird to make my daily life public and even weirder to post my almost every thought, but I’m not alone in doing this. Will people in 100 years think this as moronic or enlightened? Will we be seen in the same light as the Romans and Greeks, the Egyptians, or the Neanderthals? I don’t know but I have a sinking feeling it will be the Neanderthals. LOL. For one thing, to me it seems we give too much information and especially I do. There are too many ways now to post our moronic stuff instantly. There is My Space, Facebook, Twitter, etc. At least I have tried to keep it to just a token few places to post my insignificant thoughts and daily moronic brain farts. But the places I do post, I’ve written about almost everything and especially every embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I even write about things that happen to people around me. I guess I have no shame.
So here I go again……
Today Jake and Cody got into a fight. And it was a real fight: one of the best I’ve seen. It started over Jake going on a date and Cody wanted to get a ride into town to hang out. Jake wasn’t going that way and Cody was being a little brat (it would have been like 40 miles out of the way). Anyway Cody threw a shoe at him and the fight was on. They fought all over my room till their dad broke it up. I will give it up to Cody. He acts like a brat but he’s tough. I don’t think Jake was really trying to hurt him as much as just defending his self, but he left Cody with a few token marks to remember the occasion. For me (of course this has to be about me), I got to watch a good fight, got a new air purifier, and a new TV out of it. Now I can listen to music thru the TV in surround sound in my very clean smelling room. I think they should fight more often. Kidding.
I really think that my aunt and uncle have this thing about me. They act like if anything happens to anything that belongs to me, it’s gonna make me sicker or something. They didn’t have to buy that big tv cause I don’t really watch tv. And I told them that, as did my parents. Just a little tv that I can run the sound thru my stereo is all I need. But we really did need a new air purifier. It really gets rank in here (it smelt like 3 wankers, smelly socks, dirty underwear, bad farts, old sweat, and death). I guess you could say it kinda smelt like one of those service station mens rooms on the interstate in the middle of the summer that has 2-day-old floaters stewing in almost pure piss in the toilet, diarrheal in the urinal, pea and other stickey stuff on the floor, and vomit in the garbage can. Ummmm. LOL.
Yep, I’m evil and should be destroyed.

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