Sailing Along In Texas

I haven't been on much lately and trying to put together any of Kieran's journal entries is a pain. But I think I am through them now. I don't think there are anymore entries that are like this in his journals or in his on-line stashes. If I find anymore, I will post them. This was dated April 05/Jan 06.

I went with my dad on a trip a few years ago during spring break. It was one of those trips that he wanted to talk to me about some things. I had gotten into trouble at school a couple of times and I had a couple of bad grades in class. I also got into a fight with William over something stupid. So dad decided that I needed to go with him on this trip for an attitude adjustment (it was probably mom's idea). We drove all over Texas over 5 days and nights. So we had a lot of time to talk.
And the talking started about 5 miles down the road. He laid into me about what was expected of me and what was not expected of me. He really laid down the law as much as he could. This area is more my mom’s job. But I got the message. It only took about 30 miles and he was thru with his “laying down the law” part. So we had the next 5 days and nights to talk about other stuff. This is one of those great memories that I will have with me forever. I found out so much about my dad during those 5 days. The conversations went into things that he never talks about, with me anyway.
About noon, we stopped to eat somewhere close to the La/Tx state line. While we were in the restaurant, he said something about a woman at one of the other tables. I asked him who she was and he told me she was just a woman that looks like a girlfriend of his when he was in high school. He told me that he was ready to marry her as soon as they graduated from high school. I didn’t know about her at all. He told me a lot about her, things I guess most kids don’t hear about from their dads. But it was cool. They dated for like 2 years and really loved each other he said. They broke up during his jr. year because she didn’t want to become a military wife that had to follow her husband around all over the world. So my dad met my mom later that year and they got married instead.
He didn't talk about anything major the rest of the way to Tyler, Tx. We spent the night there cause he had a business meeting the next morning. After his meeting, we started for Houston and he started talking to me about what I planned to do after high school and college. What was I going to study in college? What were my plans for the future? Blah blah blah..... I told him that I really didn’t have a plan. I had some things that I was interested in but at that moment, I still hadn’t made up my mind. Then I asked him how did he go about that when he was my age? What were his plans at 12/13 years old? He told me that he was really into racing motorcycles at a track close to where he lived. He was also hanging around this guys garage that raced stock cars around the area, learning how to work on cars and to listen to the guys in there talk racing. He said that the next year, he had to start working on the farm more and didn’t have time to do that any more. He said then he wanted to join the forestry service and work in places like Yellowstone or The Grand Canyon Park. He also wanted to have a horse ranch out west. He’s always wanted horses. Then when he was 16, he decided that he would join the military so he would be able to go to college (either to be a veterinarian or get a business degree). When he broke up with his girl friend, he then planned to join up and make it his career. Then he met my mom and things changed again. And before he was out of the Army, William was born, so that put a big crimp in his plans for a career in the military. We talked a lot about the Army and college the rest of the day. It was an interesting day. I got to hear about my dad’s dreams and disappointments. But he wasn’t bitter or down about it, he was kinda happy telling me this stuff. It was probably the first time I realized my dad was 12 years old once upon a time. LOL.
When we got to Houston, we went to his buddy Dale’s house. It was awesome there. I really had a good time. He had a pool and that was great. And another thing was the next day; we went sailing on Dale’s sailboat in the Gulf. That was super cool. Dad had 2 meetings to go to but for the most part, it was just a vacation. I even tried to surf. LOL. I'm a huge dork cause I couldn't even get 20 yards from the beach on that thing to start with. The waves just pushed me in. Then when I did get out, I couldn't get up on it. I almost drank the gulf dry trying. When I finally got up but I had to have looked like the biggest loser on the planet. And to make it even worse, Texas doesn't have huge waves so it should have been easier for me to get up. I think I will leave surfing to people that can look cool riding a board on a wave cause I will never look cool doing it.
On the ride home, he got serious again. I think he was worried about the stuff he told me, and that I would take it wrong or not understand it. And he really wanted me to get his point about decisions. He kept at me, talking about making decisions and making the right decisions. He told me that as an adult, you have to make decisions about life everyday. But that Life decisions are the big ones. Those are decisions that shape where you go in life: marriage, college, work, family, etc. He told me that with a life decision, you should never regret those decisions. They should be decisions made with a lot of thought and if possible, imput from the people that you trust; your family and friends. When you make one of those decisions, you have nothing to regret because you have made the right decision. He said that he would always look back at his memories but he never looks back to see if he could have done something different. He said that his life turned out just how it was supposed to with the people that he was supposed to be with. He talked about me making decisions and how I go about making them. So when we got home, I was wiped out by the stress of the amount of stuff he had pounded into my head. But the things he said to me really stuck with me. I got to thinking about if his other girlfriend had married him I wouldn’t have been born or I wouldn't have been born Me. What if he hadn’t decided to talk to my mom? What if he decided to stay in the military instead of going on to college? What if's are a bitch! They can really mess you up. But I got one thing out of it: All the things that he did in his life and all the things that my mom did in her life, added up to me being on this earth. To me that’s a lot of major life decisions.