MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Friday, April 30, 2010

Recycling

This is from 5/07. I should have posted this awhile back but I've been real busy and it just slipped my mind.

There was a rally at my mom's college that was about the environment and global warming. I thought it would be fun to go to it and maybe "get involved". There were a couple of people that were invited to speak and along with some of the faculty and students. There was a couple of local bands that played at it. My mom is part of the college community, so she went but wasn't a speaker (it was like she had to go but it wasn't an official "you have to go" if you know what I mean). I went along with her. I didn't go to be one of those people that shout sarcastic crap from the back, I went because I wanted to hear more about things. I want to know what other people think and do. I like to hear what people stand for, especially very outspoken people.
So we got there early. We went by my mom's office. She stayed there while I went to the football stadium. I got to see alot of the people get there. It was on the outside of the stadium but the stadium was open for bathroom usage. I went into the stands and sat on the top. I watched all of the people arrive. It was cool to watch all the people just filter in. You can see alot of stuff from there and it was behind the stage, so I was like a peeping tom.
But I noticed a few things as I was up there. The students that put it on were running around getting things organized. I watched them for awhile cause I knew a couple of them. First thing was some of them were drinking from plastic water/coke bottles. There was a older guy (he turned out to be one of the guest speakers) that got there just before the rally started. He actually had a Styrofoam cup from the Exxon station from up the street. I just thought it was funny and not what I expected (I promise I was not going to this thing to see how I could see bad aspects of these people).
Just before it started, I went out to the area in front of the stage. I got up kinda close to the stage and listened to the speakers. It wasn't a big "You got to change your ways or we die" kind of thing. I actually enjoyed it alot. The main speakers talked about things that individual people can do to make a difference and stuff like that. I mainly got the message that I wanted to hear. We need to change our own way of life. We need to do things ourselves and not rely on other people or the government(s) to do it. Then a few of the more prominent students did their thing. I didn't like that as much. To me, it seemed they wanted to get applause and stuff like that, more than actually make a difference or say anything worth listening to. Their main message was let's blame it on somebody (mainly the government, our parents, grandparents, and the republicans), which got me irritated and nosey. I know a couple of them from my mom's office and classes, and they are anything but environmentally friendly.
So then the bands played and after that, some of the faculty spoke. I liked a couple of them but a couple of them I didn't like. The one's I didn't like was because they were so pompous and self-righteous. I don't like that. And it wasn't something that sounded like it was important to them but it was like they had a script that they had to follow. The one's that I liked spoke and acted like they were speaking from the heart. It was something that they cared about and it wasn't token lame-assed blame fests. I may not agree with some people but if they are honest and sincere, I will at least listen to them. I like people that are like that. So it ended with the students that set it up going on stage and getting credit/recognition for it from the crowd.
I went to the football stadium and watched the crowd leave and the cleaning crew start their part (there was a ton of trash which I didn't expect). I knew mom was in her office by then, waiting for things to clear out and for me to show up. But I was feeling good (I didn't get sick the whole time or even feel tired) and I was waiting for the couple of students that I knew that had spoke during the rally to leave. I wanted to see what they were driving. I was pretty sure what 2 of them drove. One had a BMW convertible. She was a rich Dad's girl that got everything she wanted. The 2 guys that I knew from mom's office and classes were in big gas hog extended cab trucks. And the other girl was in a big SUV. And one of the prof's that I liked got into a big double cab truck which kinda irritated me. I expected him to drive a VW or a Prius, but not that.
But I did like the rally even if no one else actually cared what it was about. I know that things are hardly ever what they appear to be but I got something out of it. We had almost stopped drinking from plastic bottles but after that we did stop. We got real glass pictures and a water filter on our cold water line that goes to the kitchen sink and fridge. We have metal containers lined with glass to use when we are away from home. At home we drink from real glasses. We stopped getting stuff in plastic bags if possible (alot of times we will carry stuff out of the store if they only have plastic bags). My dad has started using a big 50 gallon drum to drain used oil into so we can take it to a recycling center. We recycle everything we can even if it cost us a little bit. We found a couple of different places that recycles. Some are just standard recycle centers but there are places that will take cardboard, paper, plastic, oil, etc. We have 2 5 gallon buckets that we pour our used vegetable oil into and we give it to this guy that converted his diesel car to where it runs on veg oil (it's smells like a french fry when it goes past you).
I'm not saying we are radical environmentalist or anything like that, but we have changed how we do alot of things. And it just feels like the right thing to do and it's got to be healthier to drink from glass containers. I don't know where the water in stores comes from but I do know where the water I drink comes from. It's for the most part, from our filtered kitchen faucet. I know that instead of throwing out all of that stuff, we are better off dealing with it in the right way instead of adding to the every growing problem. I feel better and I think we all do. My dad is driving a company car now, which gets very good gas mileage instead of his truck. My mom's car gets good gas mileage but she is thinking about getting a hybrid. She has been on that kick for a couple of months and she also wants dad to get rid of his truck, but he's not going to give up his truck without a fight. But he has started going "green" at the office and stuff. Both of my parents try to do the right thing and I think it's cool.
Man if dad comes home with solar panels and expects me to help put them up, he's out of his mind. I'm not going on the roof for any reason except for real high water. lol

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