MY BRAINFARTS

blogspot visitor

Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Friday, April 9, 2010

It's Called Work

My second day at work. Yesterday was mostly just learning what to do, where to go, how to do things, who to listen to, and who was the boss. I had to watch a stupid work movie and then take a test on it (I shit you not). I spent some of the time learning how to put the groceries in sacks (the does and dont's). I spent some of the day learning where everything was and how to stock the shelves. I learned to front the shelves. I got to listen to the manager tell me how to deal with customers and what I should wear. Today I start the real work. I know it's just working a grocery store but it's my first real job, so it's gonna be different. I'll tell ya how it went later.
Well my first day was long, hard, hectic, erratic, confusing, boring, and somewhat fun.
First thing was to clock in and then to start stocking shelves. Trying to figure out where stuff went (what aisle and shelve) was a bitch. I probably spent more time searching and asking where things belong than actually stocking the shelves. After about an hour, I got called up front to sack some groceries. I did that for about 15-20 minutes and then went back to stocking. About 9 o'clock the truck came in with the new stock. I helped unload it. Then went back to stocking the shelves till my flat was empty. I took a 10 minute break and then had to sack groceries for a little while. Then I went back to stocking. For the next 3 hours, I went back and forth from stocking to sacking groceries. I took my lunch at the deli, then went outside for about 5 minutes to just get some air. Man it sucks to only have 30 minutes for lunch. Then I went back to work. At 2, some more people came in and there were more people up front to handle that part most of the time for the afternoon rush. So I went back to stocking. It was ok. Once I figured out how things are grouped, it wasn't that bad. But in almost every flat that I did, there would be a couple of items that were not put where I thought they should be. But who am I to question the inter working of the grocery business? lol.
I like what I am doing. I like stocking and working in the back. I don't like working upfront. The people up there seem to spend too much time just standing around talking. It's irritating. And the 2 younger girls that were working the registers, are pure sluts. I think they would hump anybody between 12-90 as long as they have a penis. When I was up front, they talked about who they were doing and who they had done. I think both have done the manager. That's probably why they can just stand around and talk all day without getting in trouble. And I really don't like messing with people's groceries, especially putting them in their car/van. Some of the people that come in during the day, really need to think about cleaning their car and maybe taking a shower before being out in public cause there was one car that gagged me when I opened the door. After I put the groceries in, the woman walked real close to me and she was as bad. Man I felt like taking a shower just because I had touched the car.
I got to help the produce guy. I don't think I want to work there much. Some of the produce is nasty and smells horrible when it is ruined. But I had rather work with produce that in the meat department. I don't want to have any part of that. I don't want to cut meat, handle meat, or any of that. I would probably loose a finger or hand the first day working back there. And plus, it's too easy to really make a mistake and cause somebody to get real sick with that stuff. The guy that runs the meat department is like crazy with how things are done back there and I don't blame him. The girls up front make fun of him but if he doesn't keep things clean and do his work by high standards, it could cause somebody to actually die. I asked him some stuff cause I wondered about it. He has to clean every thing in there probably between 5-10 times a day depending on what he is doing. He has to clean every time he switches from a type of meat because it could cause the meat to be contaminated with alot of different germs and stuff. And handling chicken has to be worst. It's so easy to get food poisoning from bad chicken. I just didn't know how much there was to that.
I told the manager that I didn't want to work on a register. I just don't want to mess with money (I didn't tell him that I didn't want to have that much contact with customers). I told him that I wasn't comfortable with handling money and having that much responsibility (he told me that I wasn't going to be doing that anyway cause it's mainly for employees that have been there for awhile). He told me that I would mainly be doing what I am doing right now. I told him that was good.
So I think I'm gonna like working there. It's not rocket science but it's not digging ditches either. It's something I can do without having to do extreme physical labor. I only work 2 full days and 2 evenings a week, so it's not real bad. And the manager knows that there will be somedays that I won't be able to work but for the most part, I'll know ahead of time.

No comments: