Is becoming an adult when you have to do things that you don't want to do?

This is from 7/07.

There are some things that I find very hard to do. Among these things it killing something. I don't hunt for sport or for any reason. It's because I just never had that need to kill something. I never had that need to prove myself and I never had to put food on the table by that means. I don't have a problem with people that hunt. It's just not my thing. For the most part, I enjoy all animals, even the pest and predators that exist here. But that doesn't mean that I won't kill something that I feel needs to be killed for the safety of my animals, or even myself or my family.
Awhile back we had some problems with predators. We have been losing chickens to something. At first it was happening in the yard during times when we were not here. Then we lost some in the coop, where they were supposedly safe. So I found myself having to find out what was doing this and taking care of the situation. One day after everybody had left the house, I wasn't feeling that great so I stayed home. I didn't go outside or anything. About 10 in the morning, I heard the chickens in an uproar. I grabbed the shotgun out of the closet and went out on the porch. I then ran to the fenced in part of the coop. When I got there, I found a dog with about 4 dead chickens laying around and he was after another that was in the coop. So I shot him. I can't let that go on. The chickens run about 5-10 dollars apiece and we had lost about 20 in the last month, so I did what I had to do. I really hated doing what I did but it was what had to be done. It was a wild dog that was not gonna stop raiding our chickens till we had no more or I shot him. So I shot him.
About 2 nights later, I heard the chickens again in an uproar. I grabbed the shot gun and ran to the coop. When I got there, there was a mink climbing out of a hole in the top of the coop. It was trying to put a dead chicken thru the hole but the hole was too small for the chicken. I shot the mink. The next day, I worked all day on the coop to make sure there was no more places where a predator could get into the coop.
Then the other day, I was outside with Plato and his cats. The cats were laying around the chair where I was sitting and Plato was playing fetch with a tennis ball. I was home by myself, so I had my little 22 rifle with me. I just happened to see something move where the goats were. I had them staked out clearing a part of underbrush. They are like the greatest thing in the world to clear underbrush. It doesn't matter what it is, they will eat it. Anyway, I grabbed the rifle and went toward the barn so I could see better. It wasn't toward the goats but it was higher up and I could see better. It was also the way to where the goats were. You had to go around 2 different fenced in areas to get to where they were. But when I got to the barn, I could see that it was a coyote. They are a menace to everybody around here. They will kill your dogs, cats, chickens, small animals of any kind (like baby goats and lambs), so I killed it. That same day, I killed a raccoon cause it was on the chicken coop. They will attack and kill your chickens if they can.
It has just been a really hard couple of days. I know that it was something that I had to do and it needed to be done. I would have loved to have caught them in live traps but with all the animals we have, we would only catch our dogs, cats, and chickens. But every time I killed one of those predators, it hurt me. It kinda felt like I was a murderer or at least some hard hearted person that kills first before thinking things thru. I know that I did the right thing but it still feels wrong. I hate things like that. I know that I probably shouldn't write about this because alot of people will see it and think the same thing that I do: that I was wrong in how I went about it. But I have an obligation to my animals to protect them. I don't torture them. Matter of fact, all of my animals are mostly pets that I have almost raised from an early age (they are all still young animals anyway). But if I don't protect them, they will be all killed by something because there are just too many predators here.
Maybe it's part of growing up when you have to do things that are distasteful but necessary. Who know? But I do know that I got no pleasure out of killing any of those animals. I wish they had never came around.