MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.

To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Monday, February 11, 2008

It's Alive, oh no..........

Yep, I'm still above ground. LOL.

I guess I just needed a break, get my head right (that sounds like something my Dad would say). Actually it kinda sounded like something from a movie where these stoners were talking about getting high. LOL. But it's true I guess. I got real depressed and just felt crappy all the time. Everything was so depressing and hard to deal with. I just kinda checked out for a little while. No big thing. LIFE, IT'S SOMETHING THAT IS FREE, BUT IF YOU TRY TO END IT, THEY LOCK YOUR BUTT UP. I'm not cheerful or anything now, but I'm better than I was. Maybe I should call Brian McNamee for a shot of some feel good stuff. Knowing my luck, I would get sicker or get busted. Then I would probably have to testify before Congress. And all of that. LOL.
Last week was kinda exciting around my part of the world. The Mall that we have to go by on our way out of Memphis (when or if I get to go home), was hit by a tornado. It was a pretty cool storm around here. I know that there was alot of people killed because of tornadoes that day, but it was still cool. It was pretty intense at home from what my Mom said. There was alot of tornadoes that hit south of my house. They kinda went over but didn't hit where I live. But all I know is that when the storms hit at the apartment, the wind was howling like crazy. And I know crazy howling wind. LOL.
Man it felt like spring the last couple of days. It feels like baseball. I can't wait till the games begin. My favorite time of the year. I wish I could play but that's life. I just hope I can catch a few Memphis Redbirds games while I'm stuck here. And now that my buddy Zek has a drivers license, he can drive me around. That will be a plus. He can drive my Dad's truck and we can get out and do stuff. Maybe.
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2 comments:

Brian said...

It's -10 here right now. -18 with the windchill.

Took my little brother sledding a few days ago.

You'd like it.

The snow, at least. Not sure about the -10.

February 12, 2008 at 9:47 AM
K. said...

I'm glad you're back. I didn't forget about you. =)

February 13, 2008 at 4:25 PM

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