OK, my 2007. It sucked. 07 started with nose bleeds, headaches, alot of aches and pains, sleeping alot, bruises, throwing up, etc. And the year ended with pretty much the same crap. Wow, it's been a great year. And 2008 isn't starting out that great. I fell out of my Dad's truck and bounced off of the car in the next parking space the other day (I wonder if insurance covers that cause I left a dent in the door of the other car). I opened the door and I just couldn't stop (it must have been my big head). Then yesterday I tripped over a painted line on the floor at the grocery store and did a head first slide on the floor (but I was SAFE, there was no tag). And just about everytime I walk for more than a few minute, I get sick at my stomach. Man am I pitiful or what? And I thought I was done with the dizziness. Typical. Just when things seem to be getting better, it doesn't last long. I'm really really tired of everything. Somedays I just want to quit. But I can't say that to my parents or to anybody around me. I've tried to talk to my parents about it but I don't think they want to hear it. I wouldn't mind telling them that I'm frustrated, tired, and tired of being sick all the time. It's not that I am going to quit or I would quit if I could, it's just I wouldn't mind talking to them about it like an adult. It's like I have a role to play: their baby boy. I guess I kinda just faded out in the information and decision part of all of this. I allowed them (my Mom mainly) to make all decisions without my input for too long. Now it's like I can't discuss any of it with them. I think they feel better with me just whining, bitching, and moaning like a brat.
This really sucks. I still think it would be better if the docs would put me in a coma while I'm taking treatments. Sleep thru it. LOL. Oh to dream it away. Maybe I would wake up with some mental ability other than being a dumbass. LOL. Nah, I'm not that lucky. I'd wake up being more of a dumbass.
Now for the muscial part of the program.
Someone finally made a video of Whale and Wasp. This song is too good, one of my favorites. I like to lay in bed and listen to it on repeat. But I like to do that with the whole CD.
Alice in Chains - Whale and Wasp
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I can't say I know what either you or your parents are going through so obviously take my comments with that in mind.
About the whole thing about you wanting to quit somedays... I understand where your parents are coming from on it, even if it's not the best way to handle it.
I don't think it has to do with you being a baby (though you are ;-) I think has more to do with the fact that when you have a relative sick, the last thing you want to hear is that they want to quit. Even if they don't mean it today, even if it's just a temporary expression of frustration with the situation, you fear that if it's in their mind now, one day they will eventually mean it.
Right now, you feel like you're incidental to all this. Everyone else is making the decisions and your only part in this is to feel like crap.
So what I'd suggest is to make yourself more a part of the process. Make sure the doctors explains to you, not just your mom, what's going on. If they and you don't understand what's going on, ask questions until you do. And don't let your mom tell you or guilt you into being quiet before you understand. You're, what, 16 years old and you have a right to know what the hell they're doing to you. And you have a right to give your input.
Good luck.
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