Touching

Awhile back I was in the hospital, I'd been having some pain in my groin, so a male doctor did an exam on me. He checked my whole area. It seemed like he spent way too much time checking things out ( it just seemed like it). Now that kinda got me to thinking. If he had gotten some pleasure while he was doing that, couldn't it be classified molestation.
But to tell you the truth, I don't see the difference between someone touching my elbow and someone touching my pecker. But the way society sees things is that my pecker is nasty, evil, ugly, sinful, etc. Or it's the Holy of Holys, the untouchable. But there is very little on our bodies that is that way. Nothing is said when we are bumped in a crowd. See if someone touches my pecker, they are committing this horrible act. And this has gone so far that to see this offending member, to let someone see it, or if they sneek a look is a crime. I'm just lost to all of this.
I think our society has lost it. A parent can beat a kid bad enough to be put into the hospital and the kid will be taken away. The parent will get a suspended sentence more than likely and probably get the kid back. But if that parent touches a kid's penis, they could be charged with molestation and serve time in prison. Then they will have to register as a sex offender where ever they live. They will probably never be able to get the kid back. Some of the things I hear about are just completely ignorant. There is no logic to it. No order. Just hysteria.
Hey I don't know about anybody else but I've been felt up a few times. The lifeguard that taught me how to swim, would have his hand on my pecker. Sometimes he would slip his hand inside my swim shorts. I didn't have to go to a head doctor to understand it. He always seemed to change clothes in the dressing room when the rest of us did. It didn't bother me. When I was in 8-9-10 year olds baseball, my coach helped me put on my supporter and cup in the bathroom at the field. He touched my privates. It didn't bother me. I was swimming at a friends house and his 15 year old brother stuck his hand down inside my trunks. No big thing. But these were all crimes by society's standards. But I wasn't hurt. I didn't exactly like it ( there is alot of stuff in life I don't like ) but it wasn't anymore of a bad touch than if someone touched my arm.
See I'm not advocating this touching. I'm saying that there are alot of things that are truely hurtful that goes on in this world that's accepted but this is something that is so bad.
So we are taught that we shouldn't let anyone touch us "Down There" because it's nasty, dirty, evil. We shouldn't let anyone see our packages because they are evil and unclean. See by doing what the authorities do with these situations, they are telling little boys that they have a dirty, evil part of their body. So we must be the reason for the bad things. Boys are dirty and evil. Makes sense to me. It always has.
I'm evil and I must be destroyed.

Test Day

A test to see what political party you belong to.
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? ........................................................

Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? What does the law say about this situation? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1 ? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. ............................................

Republican's Answer: BANG! ...........................................................

Redneck Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Horandy Hollow Points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one?
Wife: Your Not Taking That To The Taxidermist!

Rubber Washers **Old Post from 8-07**

I know that there are alot of people that get involved in public service (politics) for the right reasons. There are some that do this because they are tired of the way things are being done. I do think it's noble. It's probably one of the toughest things to do is to do the right thing when everybody wants you to do what they want you to do. I know that with public service, it is impossible to please everyone. It's useless to try. An elected officials need to follow their own conscience because it is never going to be right to try to please segments of the population. Maybe that is what is wrong now. Everybody thinks our leaders are only in office to please us instead of leading us. They are too busy trying to figure out what is the best way to piss off the least amount of people that they stop becoming leaders and become politicians. Politicians that follow party lines and depend on polls to see how they should do their job. Everything is scripted. All votes in congress are pretty much transparent. There are so many leftys and so many rightys. Very little is ever left to their conscience. Their vote isn't a noble act for our betterment anymore but it's a calculated precision act for power. See if they don't vote the party line, then their party will not finance their next campaign. If they don't vote the party line, then their special interest groups will not funnel money into their bank accounts and help finance their next campaign. So most of their decisions are scripted their whole time in office. There is little left to chance. And until there is something done, it will stay this way. Until WE THE PEOPLE get tired of this, it will stay this way because our elected officials will not police themselves. It's not in their perceived best interest.
I know that some people may be wondering what set me off on this. Well I'll tell ya....I read where 2 rubber gaskets (washers) were shipped overseas. For these 2 items, the government was charged almost a million dollars. FOR 2 items that were not for an emergency or anything like that, and were so small and light, you could hold them in the palm of your hand. How can this happen? Think of the stuff that could be accomplished with a million dollars. Think of the people that it could help. This is messed up. There is no excuse for this. NONE. But this is just one of many examples of an inept government lead by politicians. The billions of dollars that was set aside for the gulf coast after Katrina doesn't seem to find the people that need it. It's found local, state and federal officials; but few if any Katrina survivors. It has financed construction but for Gulf front and River front properties. It's financed casinos, hotels, golf courses, resorts, and the big million dollar homes but it has done little for the average person. The average person doesn't matter that much in the run of things. If their home is a tent, a little camper trailer, or a toxic mold infested house; our elected officials seem to care little about it. But they got their 2 rubber gaskets delivered. It's nice that our government has it's priorities in the right place. Things just keep going with no one watching what is happening. Everybody is too busy to care anymore.
To me, it seems that this (politics) is all just a big game. There are all of these different sides to the game. Power is swapped around, alliances are made and broken, promises are kept and broken at the expense of the average person, and the rules are made up as the game goes along. The game revolves around gaining power by pitting us against ourselves. We are inexpensive pawns, easy to forget, easy to manipulate, and sacrificed at the first sign of trouble. And in this game we think we are in control of the players but in reality, the players are in control at all times. I guess that is the beauty of the game, we don't know or even care we are being played.

The Land of The Free **Old Post from 7-07**

I'm probably gonna get slammed for this one, so go ahead and let me have it. I probably deserve it.
America is called " The Land of the Free ". But a better name would be " The Land of the Lawsuit ", were it is every person's right (some people think it's their responsibility) to sue someone and/or everyone for anything and everything that goes wrong in life. Sometimes I think it's every Americans ambition to sue someone: To Get Paid.
McDonald's has been sued because of their fries. How dumb is that? They were just too good, so I need a million dollars because of the pain and suffering caused by them. LOL. They've also been sued because their food was too fattening. Wow. People getting fat couldn't have been because they had no self-control, and did nothing but eat and lay around on the couch. No, it's McDonald's fault for making their food taste good instead of tasting like crap.
A dentist was sued because he put a pair of fake tusk in the mouth of a woman who worked for him, while she was under sedation during a dental procedure. He put them in and took a picture and then took them out. Then he did the regular procedure. He did it as a joke. There was nothing dangerous about it. He was known for his lively and fun work atmosphere, and he was known for joking around with the people in his office ( I know that it was in bad taste and it was probably not that funny to her ). But he was sued by that woman. Why? Because she wanted to. It was her chance to get some money. And she won. Now you may say that it was to teach the dentist a lesson and to get some form of justice. To sue him, it hurts him cause it takes away money from him. But he had insurance that covered it. But the insurance wouldn't pay. So he paid it his self. Then he took the insurance company to court and won. He also won damages because the insurance company wouldn't pay at the start and he came out real good in the whole situation. He made a lot of money off of her suing him. LOL. Yep lesson learned.
There was a guy that gave another guy a Texas Titty Twister ( where someone pinches a guys titty and twist ) and was sued because of the horrible pain, the years of suffering, and the mental anguish he endured . And he won. Such an important landmark case. Just think, I could have won more than a few lawsuits for this horrible act because it happened more than once to me in my life. LOL. I could be rich now if I had just realized I could have profited from it.
There's been people that have sued gun manufactures because the guns the those companies produce were used to kill other people. A purely political thing. See I have never heard where the fertilizer companies were sued over the Oklahoma City bombing. I haven't heard where knife companies were sued because their knives kill. I'm not trying to get into the gun thing. I'm just saying that it is an idiotic thing. If someone hit someone in the head with a baseball bat, is the company that made the bat responsible? Substitute the bat with a frying pan. Or a ice skate. Or a skateboard.
Just about every time a plane crashes, the families of the people on board sue the airlines. It's incredible how this is allowed. Yeah, it's my thought that getting in a aluminum tube with wings, going 500 miles an hour 1 mile above the Earth is safe and there should be nothing to worry about. Maybe we should sue God for not giving Earth less gravity.
Drug companies.. When something happens with medications and someone dies there seems to always be a lawsuit. Typical. But of course people will say that the drug companies shouldn't sell products that are not safe for EVERYBODY. But nothing is completely safe. Nothing is completely safe for everybody. Common sense should tell us that. I don't care if a drug company or anybody else tells me something is safe, I know there is a risk. But at the end of the day, it's our choice to take anything like that. We have the choice to take something or not. So it's our fault. It's not the fault of a company. Just like if I decide to drink a gallon of paint thinner. I did the drinking. It was my choice, not the company that makes the paint thinner. See there is no cure all and there is no guaranteed super medicine. There is a risk to taking any medications and there is a risk the medicine won't work. But no matter what, it's our choice.

See there are things I can see as worthy of suing over. One is the stupid people that fall into this category of imbeciles who sue over the results of their own choices. Everybody that files a sleazy lawsuit should be sued by the rest of the world. They should be sued and have their rights as human beings taken away from them. They should be relegated to an island where stupid, sleazy people can live without being in contact with the rest of humanity. Maybe not an island, maybe a big state. California is a good one to choose, it's already got more than a few sleazebags living there now. See nothing is safe for everybody. Take it at your own risk. I don't have an overly ambitious belief in so called cure-alls. If I live, I live. If I die, I die. I will not live or die, depending on a corporation and their imaginary miracle cure. And I will not live my life hoping that I can sue someone because of the choices I made. I can live with my choices. I also know that there is no cure for life. It always ends in death. There are some things that can prolong my life, maybe make it better, but there is no cure. And there is a risk with everything I put in my body. I'm not so dumb that I believe "IT" could never happen to me. I know it can happen to me.
The tobacco companies is another one. I'm sorry but that whole thing is wrong. People suing those companies because they smoked the companies product. I have never heard where people were being held down and were made to smoke tobacco. The people that smoke made that choice themselves and they are to blame for their own actions. It's incredibly stupid that society has felt the need to ignore this simple fact and blame people's lack of restraint on the tobacco companies.
A neighbor near me, had this couple walking up to their door. While they were on the steps the woman stepped off the edge of the step and broke her ankle. She sued my neighbors for this. Incredible. Incredibly sleazy.
The thing that happened at Selmer, Tn at the Kids for Cars parade. It was a horrible accident. Truly horrible. And within a week, there were lawsuits being filed almost everyday. People were coming out of the woodwork to try to get their piece of the pie. It's like vultures at a dead carcass. Or sharks in a blood frenzy. It's sad what happened. And it just shows how quick bad things can happen and how easy it is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
How can anyone put a price on a life besides the person living that life? I couldn't do it but it's done every second of every hour of every day in every part of the world. It's a sad part of life but it's excepted from society. But each life doesn't have the same worth in our world. We all like to think our life is priceless but in reality, it isn't (except to us). So since we (society) want a actual price tag on our lives, we have courts that help us decide what specific lives are worth. It's kinda like a product on store shelves. There's the generic brand (homeless), the store brand (the poverty level), the name brand (middle class), and then there is the Premium brand (The Unbelievably Rich). Yep we all want to be the latter but with our society the way it is and our courts the way they are; who knows what we are really worth to the rest of the world. Who knows what anybody is worth? No one really knows. But I can gaur-ronn-tee you that there is a lawyer that can come up with a number for my life if I need one. But of course to get a number like that, I would probably be dead, so it probably wouldn't matter at that point what anybody thought my life was worth.
See I don't understand about going to court to get money because of a death. It never remedies anything. It doesn't bring back a loved one. To me, there is no way it could make anyone feel better about losing a loved one, unless they weren't really a loved one to start with. To me it is a horrible thing to have a death in the family. But if I decide to sue someone to get money because of that death, it would make me feel like I was using that persons death for my own benefit. I would also feel like I somehow wanted that person to die so I could get paid. It's a cheap nasty thing to use a loved one's death to make a few dollars. It just shows how nasty and callus some human beings can be. To me it is no better than parents selling their kids for sex. It's using people in the worst way. I also can't see getting money in a lawsuit for wrongful death as a form of justice because it is not justice. It's financial gain at the expense of some one's life. It may feel like justice and look like justice to some people, but it's just a sleazy pattern of abuse by a lazy society. Yep I said abuse because it is abuse. And it's demeaning. And in my view, it's what this time in history is going to be remember for. To me, it cheapens the life of the person that died. And it makes our lives seem cheaper.
I hate that bad things happen. But I really believe that things happen for a reason. The main reason is that people don't want to be responsible for their own lives. They blindly put themselves in dangerous situations. And when something happens, it's just the next step to sue someone. It's the easy thing to do. It is a self-deluding way to deflect blame for our own actions. To me, anyone standing on the edge of a highway no matter what the situation, they are in harms way. They are putting themselves in a dangerous situation. The kids that were at the parade in Selmer, were in a dangerous place. Their parents should have known better. The cars had been doing this for years. It wasn't a new thing. Everybody knew that the cars were going to peel out and that the cars were very powerful. So if the parents allowed their kids to be in that position, the parents are the first one's to blame. It doesn't matter about the driver of the car, the city, the state, or the Cars for Kids charity. The parents should have understood that it was a dangerous thing and not something that they should be involved in.
See life is hard and life is dangerous. We need to take the blindfolds off and look at the world. It's not safe. There is no one protecting us but us. We can't rely on people to protect us. We need to protect ourselves. We need to take responsibility for our own lives because in the end, it's our life. Our lives are not as precious to other people. And suing for our own lack of judgement is never the answer. The answer is we need to use better judgement in our lives and we need to take responsibility for our own actions. We need to stop thinking that we are being protected from danger. Our only protection is ourselves. In the end, we are the blame for our own well being. We are the blame for our lives, no matter how hard we try to blame someone else.
Please don't get me wrong. I know that there are situations that constitute lawsuits. I'm not saying all lawsuits are wrong. But there doesn't seem to be a way to separate legitimate lawsuits and the sleazy ones that are the dominate ones today. The real ones are lost in the abyss of the commonsense-less and justice-less courts, and the endless flood of bad lawsuits.
Sorry if I upset anyone. I just hate the way everything seems so nasty right now. I just wonder if things have been this way my whole life and I'm just now seeing it. A couple of years ago, things didn't seem so bad.. Society didn't seem so predatory. Life didn't seem so bleak. Now it seems that it has become so easy for people to be dishonest. No one even cares any more as long as it's not directly affecting them. Nothing seems right. I just wonder if it's me or what. And I know it seems that I am always down on people and life in general. But I'm really not. It's just that when I see so much bad stuff going on, it makes me not want to trust. When I see so much dishonesty, it's hard to believe that there is honesty in anything. Every time someone cheats it makes everybody else's lives just a little bit harder. No matter how horrible the story, if it is against a "evil corporation", or how rich the defendant is: I don't see winning a frivolous lawsuit as something to be celebrated. To me, it's just wrong. Because every time someone wins one of those frivolous lawsuits against a perceived bad person/company, it makes it easier for someone to win a frivolous lawsuit against regular people like me or you. And I don't know about anybody else but I can't afford to be sued right now. Or ever. LOL.

Some Justice **old blog 7-07**

I read about the guy in California, Jack McClellan , who claimed he was attracted to little girls.
There is alot about this I don't like. I don't like the guy at all. I don't like anything about him. I don't like what he is saying. I don't like the ideal of him living in this world. I especially don't like the ideal that he could be living down the road. He is probably one of the most disgusting persons on the planet. But I don't understand how the state of California can do the things they are doing. For all of the nasty stuff that he has said, he hasn't been convicted of a crime. He hasn't done anything to a child. So how can the state be subjecting him to a different set of laws than any other person? Sure we can think that he will do something but that isn't something that should be part of our court system.
All of this is just wrong. If we start doing things like this, Pre-emptive justice, where does it end because it can be applied to so many things in our world. If we start doing things like this, when a child is molested; the child should be put in jail because of the tendency of molested children to become molesters themselves. It's pre-emptive and it's logical in that way of thinking. Children that have parents with some mental problems should be institutionalized because of the chance of the problems being passed to the child. Children of violent parents should be locked up because of the tendency of those children to become violent. People caught speeding, should be locked away because of the chance that in the future they will kill someone in a car accident. People that drink alcohol or take any drugs should be put in jail for future deaths caused by accidents while under the influence.
Our world has become so muddled, so distasteful. And we seem determined to make it worse. Kids can be kicked out of school and put in jail for having a list of names on a piece of paper. Spoken words have become criminal. Written words have become criminal. People are being jailed because of something that has happened at other places by other people. People are being put in jail for talking to adults that are acting like they are children. People are being jailed for things that might happen. People are being jailed for fictitious crimes. Where does it end?
Future crimes are not something that I want our government involved in. I don't want someone looking at a folder trying to figure out what I (or anybody else) might do in the future. This presumption of future crimes destroys the idea of Presumed Innocent. The way things are going, soon we will be presumed guilty until we can prove we are innocent (it's almost like that now). But beyond all of that, how can you prove your innocent of a crime that hasn't been committed yet? What's next, Thought Police? Or maybe government forced abortion of "criminal fetuses"?
Maybe I am wrong in the way I see things. But I think that you can tell more about a nation by their laws than by anything else. If the government uses laws to control the citizens thru law enforcement then maybe the nation is already lost. It becomes more like tyranny protecting a corrupt entity than government by and for the people. Government should be a guideline to help not a way to control.

Jena 6 **old post 7-07**

I've been keeping up with the Jena 6 stuff on. I saw where alot of people feel that they should be freed from this injustice. Maybe. It's only fair. They did nothing wrong because in this world, if there is an "injustice" against someone, they have the moral, ethical, and sometimes legal right to commit an injustice against someone else. Of course then that person has the right to commit an injustice against someone else and then that person has the right to commit an injustice against someone else, etc....... Then we have only injustice. Yep, that's the way to go. I understand that there was stuff going on between White and Black. Hey that's life. What's new! And I agree that the noose thing outside the school was in bad taste but hey, that's life. Shit happens. Bad taste happens alot. But at some point there has to be a stopping point. See, I think it should have been handled better by school officials and by that community to start with. It should have been handled better by students and by the parents of students: ALL PARENTS OF ALL STUDENTS. But when violence happens, it is time to put a stop to it. This happened because of intolerance and racist attitudes by all party's, and it continues from all parties involved. "They did this, so we did that". "He called me this, so I stabbed him". "A Black kid hit me in 1st grade, that's why I shot that black guy at the party". "A white person owned my ancestors, so all white people owe me". We all have something we can use as an excuse to do bad things if we want to: IF WE WANT TO. See the white kids that did the nooses shouldn't have been allowed to be in or around that school any more. They should have been punished for their sad and pathetic attempt to bully the black kids. It was racist and it was sickening. And it was very wrong but it wasn't criminal. No matter how bad it looked, putting a rope in a tree isn't a crime. And as ignorant as the nooses were, violence was not the answer to that ignorance. It will never be. But the reaction to that ignorance was a crime. It was a violent crime. It was a race motivated crime. They targeted a white kid because he was white. Why were there no marches against this racially motivated crime? Why didn't the injustice marchers protest this act of Racism? Racially motivated crimes against white people aren't really that glamorous in the media or to anybody else I guess; not enough money to be made off of that and it's not PC enough. But if the Rev. Jesse Jackson really wanted an end to race crimes, he would protest all instances of it. But instead he is only against White on Black crime. If it is the other way, it's ok with him. See he's not protesting bigotry, he is protesting bigotry against Black people. He isn't against racism, he's against racism against Black people (that's where his money is at). But nothing is changing. This is the way it is, and this will always be the way things are until supporting bigotry against any group is stopped. All instances should be viewed the same, no exceptions. But that ain't happening. See I believe that there were injustices involved in this whole matter from all involved. But I also believe that anytime race becomes involved in any matter it becomes so muddled, that in reality, there is no justice. The use of the term "Racist" has become so easy to use that it has become a crutch for all minorities and a political weapon for opportunist. To me, it means nothing. It's just another dirty term that is used when someone wants some attention or to get out of trouble. Maybe if people only used it when it was really needed. Maybe if it was used in instances where it applies. But that won't happen either. It's a racist world. It's a world full of bigots. What's changed since the 60's? Very little. Now it's just fashionable to be black. But race is still a problem. Today all races are racist, but being white is the same as being EVIL. If your white, you can't even have the glimmer of being a bigot. Don't get me wrong. There are times that I think the Rev. Jackson and that crowd is right. They do some good things but most of the time they miss the point all-together. And it is always the Black man's injustice. It is never society's injustice. He doesn't care about anything beyond his group. To me that is Racist. But that's just me. Maybe I'm the racist and I just don't know it. But I thought about if it was 6 white kids that beat down a black kid. Would Rev. Jackson be marching for lighter sentences for the white kids? Would he be in support of the white kids in anyway? Would the media be giving the same opinion in that instance as this? No. Jackson would be marching for tougher sentences because it could only be race motivated. He would be calling for the harshest penalty possible. The media would be saying how it was so horrible that 6 white kids beat up a black kid. Wow. What a double standard? See I don't even presume to know what all went on at that school. I don't think anybody knows the truth about any of it or ever will. It's being played out in the media like a soap opera to make one side look better than the other. Everybody is doing this. Everybody is looking to make their position look innocent and the other side guilty. Everybody has their own twist to every situation and this has been twisted beyond ever finding anything resembling justice. See, I think they are all guilty, every F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G person involved, even law enforcement. They should all be arrested and charged with Terrorism (everybody involved terrorized the rest of the world with their accusations and the way they twist the truth), Conspiracy to Commit Fraud (trying to make something into a crime against humanity when there is so much real crime with real victims), Fraud (for everyone that plays into this victim act), Civil Rights Violations (my civil right to live one day without this ignorant shit), Sliminess (they are all slim balls and it's a crime), Stupidity (for the people that fall for this crap EVERY-freaking-TIME), Murder (they killed precious time in my life with their moronic mud slinging and name calling), Rape (they all raped my consciousness and I will never be the same), and Wasting Time and Resources on Stupid-Assed People doing Stupid-Assed Shit (the media for covering this like they did). This should be a Capital Crime, with the death penalty as punishment and I will volunteer to push the F^^^ing plunger. I see it like this: Racist marching to stop racism will always cause more racism.

Evil Empire **Old Post from 6-07**

I'm sure that world opinion for the USA is low. Around the world, there are places were Americans are not welcome. Hey, what's new. I'm sure that if we stopped everything, we would be every one's best friend: if we stopped financing the rest of the free world, if we pulled all of our troops from foreign lands, if we stopped financing the U.N., if we stopped everything and only took care of ourselves, we would be every one's favorite nation. YEAH RIGHT. We tried that before and it didn't work.
I keep hearing that our foreign policy is horrible. We are bullies. We are the modern plunderers. We only help countries where we can gain something of value. Our track record is so bad. After WWI, we didn't keep half of Europe. After WWII we didn't keep half of Europe. We didn't keep parts of Africa. We didn't keep Japan. We didn't keep China. We didn't keep nothing. We rebuilt it. We fed them. We started their industries. We paid the bill for mad men and we looked bad for doing it.
Korea, Vietnam and Southeast Asia is such a gold mine for natural resources. It was all our fault. Just ask half of the U.S. and the rest of the world. It was our fault that we tried to help someone that didn't want to be helped. Or at least, help someone that won't help themselves. But in reality, talking about it wouldn't have solved anything but that didn't matter to the rest of the world. They just want someone to blame. Someone to point a finger at and say, "It's their fault". Simply put we will always be the bad guys no matter what as long as we are at the top and willing to help, not just talk about helping.
The Middle East. Wow. If we do, we are blamed. If we don't, we are blamed. If we protect, we are killing. If we don't protect, we are killing. If we wait, we are at fault. If we do something, we are bat fault. If we go thru the U.N., it doesn't do anything and we are blamed. If we don't go thru the U.N., we are blamed. SHIT, just drop the freaking bomb and get it over with. If we are gonna be blamed no matter what, DO SOMETHING THAT IS WORTH THE BLAME. STOP THE MADNESS. BLOW THE FUCKER'S OFF THE MAP.
Our actions do cause reactions around the rest of the world. Our inaction does too. Nothing we do or don't do, will change any of this. But September 11, was not caused by our actions or our inaction. Nope. It was because of who we are. We are the devil. The non-believers. We are the blame for every one's short comings. If you don't believe me, just ask around.
Maybe America is oppressive just because we are who we are. I'm sorry that my buying power is oppressive to Nigeria or China. I'm sorry that the strength of this country is oppressive to other countries. I'm not sorry that we are strong. I'm not sorry that I have a sense of security. I'm not sorry that I have things. I will not apologise for my families hard work. I will not apologise for this countries hard work. I will not apologise and feel bad because there is someone that always looks to blame ME for their own lack of security and well being. I'm sick of shit like that. It's always somebody else's fault. No one will take responsibility for anything. But I am sorry. I'm sorry that there are people in this country that believe we are the bad guys. But what's new there ( by the way this is a by product of a strong "free" society). The only thing that ever changes their minds about anything is if something is taken away from them, then suddenly it's different.
If you don't fight for what you believe, you don't believe in anything. If you believe the U.S. is the oppressors in this world, join the other side. Stand up for your beliefs because I WILL for mine.
As far as Iraq goes. Look at it like this. If you walked in and found someone raping you sister.
Would you ask him to stop and tell him to go home?
Would you turn around and ignore it?
Would you get a group of people to study and define what is rape?
Would you get him to stop while you call for help?
Would you stop him YOURSELF?
Iraq raped Kuwait? And Bush Sr stopped him and told him to go home. "W" Bush ended it finally. He put a stop to Saddam's raping. Maybe it was a bad thing for Iraqi's or maybe not, but hey, you play your hand. If you let a mad man like Saddam do the stuff he was doing, maybe you have to be willing pay the price. Germans did. Japanese did. Italians did. Afghan's did. SO on and so on.
All of this crap separating Americans hurts me. It doesn't make me mad as much as it hurts my feelings. I makes me distrust my fellow Americans, the people that live next to me. If I can't trust the people that live near me, how can I trust anyone except my family. See I want to trust. I want to believe in other people. I want to know that if I am being attacked by someone, my neighbors will come to my rescue. People telling me how bad something is, is meaningless. There are some things that require more than words. I want to know that if I need someone, they will be there. But I don't get that. I feel that if I am being attacked, most people will ignore it or at best, may call for help. To me it seems that few can be bothered to risk personal safety to help. In my view, there is little comfort in someone calling for help in most situations. Sometimes action is needed.
But I do understand about talking about differences. I do understand. But I also understand that there are some people that will not change. There are some that will talk to you like a friend and then stab you in the back at the first chance. And there are times when talking is just putting off the inevitable. If someone comes at me with a scowl and a clinched fist, I will not try to talk to them. I will try my best to land the first punch. Then the second. Then the third. Then the fourth............ In my part of the world, if you act like you want a fight, someone will oblige you. In other words, if you act like a bad ass, you better be a bad ass. Some of the nicest people in the world will stomp your butt into a mud hole if you act like an asshole. It's a simple fact. In my part of the world, you don't wait for someone to do something. In my part of the world, you don't wait for the inevitable. In my part of the world, talk is cheap. Words mean nothing, action is what people rely on. You don't go to a person that talks but never does anything, for help. You go to a person that has proven in the past BY THEIR ACTIONS what they stand for and who they are. Simple way of life for simple people maybe.
But on the world stage, nothing is ever more complicated than when you try to get a bunch of people ( political sociopaths ) from different areas of the world to sit around and agree on anything without first thinking of how they can come out of it with the most.

School Daze **Old Post from 6-07**

I've been kinda ill tempered lately. Bratty. I haven't felt good. Besides being sick, the crap I have to take makes me feel worse. I haven't been able to do much beyond laying around the house. I don't go anywhere except to church, the doctor and the clinic. I had some blisters or something on my tongue, in my mouth, and in my throat. I think it was cause I was throwing up so much. They peeled after a few days but it was painful for a little while. You probably didn't want to hear about that. LOL. Hey if I will tell ya'll about my skid marks and stuff, you got to be ready for just about anything from me.
I'm not suppose to go outside but that just isn't gonna work. LOL. I get outside a little during the day with Plato. He's gotten to where he will play ball with me. I throw a tennis ball and he will go get it and bring it back to me. So I sit on the porch and he does all the work. LOL. I can't stay outside for long cause of the dust and HEAT, but it's fun while it last. I have to sneak outside if anyone ( MOM ) is here. Her nagging is worse than anything ( "DO you want to get sicker?" "It's too hot." "The doctor said to stay inside" Blah blah blah blah blah blah.......). I've been staying in my room alot sleeping and listening to music. I've actually watched tv some and it still sucks. Reality shows are so dumb and cop shows are almost as bad. I try to watch movies but it seems like it's always the same movies that are on. Oh well, that's life in the fast lane for ya.
My sister and Shea come over some. It's cool to see them but I can't spend much time around them. I'm not like in a bubble or anything, but I try not to get around anybody for too long and babies are a no no. If I can just get over this crap, then maybe I can get to feeling better. Then I can be around everybody more. But I miss being able to play with him. I miss being around other people ( did I say that, ooops ). LOL. But I do. I miss going to the store. I miss school ( Ok I didn't say that, someone else much have gotten in here and wrote that ). But I'm feeling better. I really couldn't feel much worse. LOL.
My Mom has been talking about what I'm gonna have to do about school and colleges. It gives me a headache trying to figure out everything. The school part isn't that bad but trying to figure out about college is a pain. I've always kinda slid thru things in school. I've never really had to try hard to do things. I've always done good but I never tried to do better than just good. As far as my school work, I always do it early and then it's done. But I never worry over things like that. I do the work and then I'm done. I except what I get. Maybe that's better than waiting till the last minute but I think it's pretty much the same cause either way it's finished quickly. I've just always thought it was more important to actually learn something than to worry about if I can regurgitate it back to a teacher for a grade.
I've kinda checked out some colleges but I haven't really decided on anything. I want to go to Ole Miss more than anything but I don't want to live on campus. And I really don't want to drive along way, so unless we move, I probably won't go there. I don't want to go to a community college and my parents don't want me to either. My Mom hates them. She says it's like going to a bad high school. Too much pampering and the students are graded too easily. She wants me to go to a 4 year school but I haven't made up my mind. My options are kinda limited unless I am willing to live on campus. Freshman rules suck.
I could go to Freed Hardiman University. The drive would be ok. Good highways the whole way but out of state tuition would be a big pain. I could go to North Alabama. It's about 2 hours and it's good highways most of the way. But out-of-state tuition again. Ole Miss isn't that far but it's bad 2 lane twisting dangerous highway with heavy traffic. I could go to Blue Mountain College but it's like a strict Baptist college way out in the woods and it's really a girls school. All the Memphis schools are an option. But the traffic is horrible. There's William Carey College in West Point, Ms, but it's a real small Baptist school. There are a few schools around Jackson, Tn that I can check out. It's still a fairly long drive and also out-of-state tuition. Mississippi State is a no go. I will flip burgers the rest of my life before I go to that piss hole. I still got a little time to decide but I got to figure something out soon. This sucks. I wish it was easier to decide this crap. Why are things like this always so hard to figure out? It looks like it would be the easy part, not the hard part.
I've also got to figure out what I want to study. I've never really planned for what I will do when I'm out on my own. To be honest, I've thought about what I would like to do a little but I spend more time thinking about what I don't want to do. I'm working backwards on that. LOL. Typical for me.

Tough Day **Old Post from 5-07**

When I write about somethings that go on in my life, I have this way of making things so dramatic. I don't try to make things seem so dramatic or traumatic. It's never as bad as it sounds with me. I guess I need to use a different color or something. LOL.
I didn't get to watch the soccer match today and from the score, I didn't miss much. LOL. But I had a good reason for not seeing it, a friend of mine died Monday and I went to his funeral today. When I was in the hospital, I met this kid there. We talked baseball and stuff. He was a Cardinals fan, so he was cool in my book. He had been in the hospital alot, and he had been in remission a few times but it kept coming back. Each time it came back, he was weaker from everything and he wasn't getting better. I haven't talked about him any cause it was kinda personal. It wasn't anything that I felt I needed to talk about. Plus I didn't feel right talking about him when he was that sick. But I guess it's ok now.
It's weird cause I didn't really get to know anybody there but him. I met alot of people, but most were here and then gone. But we just seemed to like the same things. We played alot of card games. Mostly spades and poker. It wasn't like we were always hanging out together. It's kinda tough to do that with the way things were but we did hang out as much as possible. He made things there not as bad as it would have been otherwise and I'm glad I got to know him. He was a cool person. We talked on the phone a few times after I got out and I visited every time I went to Memphis. But the last couple times I called him, I only got to talk to his Mom or Dad. I knew when I got out of the hospital, he was probably not going to live much longer. He knew it too. It's the only reason I was sad when I came home. I did and do miss him.
Me and my Mom went early because his Mom wanted to talk to me before the service. She didn't say why she wanted to talk to me, just that she wanted me to come up this morning to their house. All afternoon yesterday, I was sad and kinda freaking out. I've never went to someone's house like that and I really didn't know how I would react. If she started crying, I would probably lose it. I just don't know how to do stuff like that.
Well I did lose it. She started crying when we got there. She hugged me for along time. It was so sad. How can people live thru that? I was kinda scared. But she just wanted to tell me something that he told her. He told her that I was the best friend he ever had. He had been sick so long, he didn't have any friends. I am the best friend he had, how sad is that? But I didn't even think about that, maybe I should have. We talked alot when I was there. We hung out together when we could. We were both taking treatments and couldn't do alot of stuff: we had to keep a bathroom in eye sight when we could actually get out of bed. I told him about Plato. So his Dad got him a black Lab puppy. And he did name it Plato. It was cool. I gave him a Cardinals World Championship shirt to wear around the hospital. We talked about soccer. I got him into soccer and ManU. We even talked about Nascar and football. He was a Tennessee fan and I couldn't get him to change to Ole Miss. LOL. Those crazy Tennessee people. LOL. But he was a cool kid.
When I left Memphis, she said he started getting worse real fast but he wouldn't let on to me when we talked on the phone. She told me that the phone calls and the few visits from me were the best part of any day he had after I went home. After the service, went back to their house. We sat around and talked about him. She said that what made him want to be around me was that I was always doing dumb and crazy stuff at the hospital. We did play a few practical jokes while I was there. I talked him into standing on the air/heating unit in front of the windows and stick his naked butt against the window ( I did the same thing, it had to have been a ugly moon that day ). I talked him into farting in the face of this one nurse we didn't like. And he did, he cut loose a ripper. It like to have changed her hair color. I got my Mom to get some saran wrap. We tore off a big sheet and covered the toilet seat in the bathroom by the community room. Some lady went in there, and then we heard a exclamation and a few expletives. She came out with pee soaked pants. I guess when she sat down, the plastic must have stuck to her bottom. When she started to pee, she noticed it wasn't going into the toilet bowl and stood up, and the pee on the saran wrap ran down her legs. That was priceless ( I've done this prank before and I've had it done to me before but this was the best ever ). We did have some fun. Just not enough.
After about an hour, we left. She hugged me again like the first time, she asked if it would be ok to call and see how I was doing and maybe I could come up for a visit sometime. I told her yes. The whole family is way cool and I told her she could call me anytime for any reason.
It's weird but in a way, I'm not that sad. I'm sad for me. I'm sad for his family. But I'm not that sad for him. I think he was tired. I think he had hurt too long and too much. I do think that at some point, too much is too much. Maybe I'm just being dumb but it's how I see it. I do think there are worse things than death, like endless pain.
Yesterday I did have some scary stuff going thru my head. He went thru remissions and relapses. Each one seemed to be stronger than the last. See each time the treatments get worse and you get closer to the point where there is no treatment that will cure you. I guess it's always in the back of my head that it's probable that I will go the same route. I know that I should think I am special and invincible, but sometimes I do have rational thoughts that squeeze out of my brain. But I do try to suppress all rational thinking. Who wants to live in a rational world anyway? I want to live in my own little world, with my own rules. LOL.
I'm beat tonite and I'm going to bed early. My brain is mush right now and I need some sleep.

Big Trucks **Old Post from 4-07**

I was at a gas station that big trucks stop at, getting something to drink and eat. There was a truck driver talking to the man behind the counter. He was talking about how he has such a difficult time now compared to years back. He has a family to take care of and he's having a hard time doing it. He said that people on the roads don't drive the same as they used to. People don't lookout for big trucks anymore and they don't give way to them. He said that now he has to work twice as hard and long. He said that now he doesn't have the time to worry about what is going on and that with insurance, he doesn't have to really worry about hitting someone. If someone gets in his way, he's not afraid to move them. He's the biggest so everybody should get out of his way.
We payed for our stuff and left. I thought about what that guy was saying all the way home. Is this how everybody is now? Is this how it's suppose to work? How can you not fear killing someone? It's my fear when I drive. My fear is not if the car gets a dent, if I can be sued, if I'm late for anything, if I miss my favorite show, or anything like that. My fear is that I wipe out a family going to church. My fear is that I cause someone to be disabled and unable to take care of themselves or their family. My fear is to destroy someone's life in any form. But I don't see this fear anywhere else. I don't see it in truck drivers or in regular people. No one cares about anyone else. There's no fear of lose of life or even financial lose. We have insurance to take care of that. If someone is killed in a car wreck, their family will be payed insurance. So everybody just plows ahead. As long as you don't hit someone you know, it's ok.
This is just sick. See I think it's fine to be careless with your own life. That is a personal thing. What isn't fine is when people are careless with other people's lives. Insurance may give people a financial safeguard but it does nothing to protect anyone. If you are dying on the side of the road, I doubt if the one thought going thru your head is "I hope he had insurance". When you see a car coming at you, insurance is no protection. It doesn't have a force field included with it. It's just nothing. But it enables people to drive with little fear of repercussions. Is this actually a good thing? Is this the true purpose of insurance? If not, why do we allow it to be?

Yes, I'm Disturbed **Old Post from 3-07**

I watched the storms come thru yesterday and I enjoyed them alot. There were some cool thunderstorms and great lightning. We got some straightline winds of around 70 miles per hour. It was a cool day. Then I heard about the storms in Alabama. I actually thought the town was close to me, but I got it confused with another town. I guess that with the good there is always going to be bad. I feel so bad for those people and their families. It was a horrible thing. But this doesn't have anything to do with my blog today I guess. I just feel bad for them.
I keep coming back to reactions, over-reactions, and lack of common sense with the schools, authorities, and the public (me included). If I go to school with a pocket knife, I can be arrested. If I take a rifle to school and show how all the parts work for a grade, I can be arrested. If I show up with a plastic toy gun, I can be arrested. If I am a kid that is picked on and bullied, that's ok with the authorities and the school. It's boys being boys. But if I write the names of my tormentors on a sheet of paper, I can be arrested. If I write on my web page that I hate these people and I wish they were dead, I can be arrested. Even if I say I have a gun at school, I will be expelled. In all of these examples, I will definately not be allowed at that school anymore. But nothing is better. Nothing is remedied. Nothing accomplished. The next day, it's the same crap at that school. The same people doing the same crap minus one student.
I understand that it bothers people when kids kill people, especially at school. I can only imagine how horrible it is. But when the reactions are overblown to the extent it is now, it's just crazy. Of course, when a kid with a plastic toy gun or a dismantled rifle is in the school setting, it is such a horrible thing. I can see that a kid giving a speech on the interworkings of a rifle can cause so many injuries and deaths. And God forbid, someone should say GUN in school. It's a panic. All the teachers run for their lives. He's got a plastic toy gun, run for your lives. "This is CNN live at Central High School where a student went birserk with a semi-automatic plastic toy gun during school. There are 7 teachers dead at the chained side door, crushed by the weight of the librarian and the girls softball coach. We can only guess at this time what prompted this student to perpertraite such a hianus act. We have unconfirmed reports that after his rampage on the school, he turned the plastic toy gun on his self. Such a tragic afternoon. When we get more information, we will pass it along to you.""This is CNN reporting at The Central School Massacre". "Now back to the studio".
Fear of a kid with a gun is not half as frightening as an adult with a gun. I just wonder how many Columbine type shooting there have been compared to shootings by adults at their jobs. Now I'm not saying that I think that its ok for kids to be armed. I'm saying it's stupid to think that expelling students for a pair of nailclippers is protecting people. I'm saying that in the school setting, that the kid giving a speech on how a rifle works is not distrubing. What's disturbing is that anyone can find that criminal. But it's the way things are. Make a fuss about nothing and ignore anything that could actually accomplish anything.
But the most disturbing thing is that the real problems are never acknowledged or remedied, they're ignored. If the public, school officials, and/or authorities can over-react like this for these things, why can't they atleast react to students that bully, mock, use racial terms, use sexist terms, use all manner of degrading terms, and actually use physical violence? Why can't they react to the popular crowd that use the schools as their little kingdom? It's because they don't want to. They, in a way, like the popular crowd. They look normal. They act normal. They are good students. They are from good, well-known families. They are the cream of the crop. Why not let them do what they want? The freaks, the loners, the quite ones, the ugly ones, the fat ones, the short ones, the so called "sexually confused" ones, and the poor ones are not the ones that people normally identify with. Why not just let survival of the fittest take over? So what if the popular crowd and the bullies torment the "less than desireable" students. Hey it's just kids. They don't mean anything by it. It's just part of growing up. It's harmless fun.
It's because, sometimes, the "less than desireables" get to the point where they can't take it anymore. Then it's the same old song, "a disturbed student does something crazy". It's never, " a tormented student that got no protection from the public, authorities, or school officials did something horrible". Sure you hear from time to time, a news report or a politician will say something about how schools can be vicious. You will hear it but nothing is ever done about it. It's too simple. So we just wait for the next horrible act. Then it's back to over-reacting. It's back to blame the freaks. But lets not look too deep. Let's not use any common sense. Let's not actually try to make things better. Let's just put on a show, pass some ignorant law that won't do anything beyond use more paper and get news coverage. Then it's all ok, till the next horrible act.
See the less than desirable kids have very few options. It's not like they can just stop going to school, sometimes there isn't another school to go to. So it's just not an option in most cases. They could tell someone, a teacher or parent, but that just brings on more trouble. So it's just take it or do something about it. See it's typical that the people with the least options are the ones that have to adapt to conditions that are not remotely fair. But schools are suppose to be a place where kids are taught on an even plane. But in reality, these kids are shown that nothing is ever fair and that the rich, good looking, athletic, popular kids that play their part in the day to day drama can do just about anything they want. And they are protected.

Tolerance **old post 3-07**

Faith is something each person has just for them. It's based on more than a simple stance. It's based on more that who we associate with, the area we live in, what we read, what we see, what we are told. It's more than all of that. It's an individual belief based on each person's life, education, life experiences, and personal preferences. We should understand that every ones beliefs are sacred. It's something personal and privileged. Instead of disclaiming their beliefs, why can't we at least show tolerance toward them. Excepting the fact that they have different beliefs is not the same as excepting their beliefs as our on. We can understand and learn from each other without having the same beliefs or losing our own identity. When we question someones beliefs, we give other people the right to question our beliefs. And no one likes that. I think that the idea of different beliefs isn't the problem today. It is the abrasive way people try to force their beliefs on everybody else. "I am right and you are wrong, unless you believe what I do". It's always going to end up in a fight. It's always going to end up with people being mad and feeling oppressed.
Even when we discuss our beliefs, sometimes we can be abrupt, belittling, and argumentative. We can be strong and abrasive in just the simple explanation of what we believe. We can make our beliefs sound so set in stone and so morally right, that we can make people that don't have similar beliefs feel judged. We can make them feel that to believe any other way is ignorant and immoral. It's such an easy thing to belittle someone.
Simply put, we are different. We will always be different. That is something that makes us who we are. We should embrace our differences instead of fighting about them. Through out history, we've had wars about our differences. Maybe it's time to stop this unrealistic stance that we need to all believe the same beliefs. Hell, since the start, we have had one belief the same, that we are always right and anyone that doesn't think like we do, is wrong. See we can agree, now we just need to adjust it a little.
Tolerance - The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others.
I really need to follow this too. I am not above being intolerant. Sometimes my mouth gets away from me and I say things I really don't mean. I may not like it when someone tells me I'm intolerant but a short time later, I will see that I was wrong. I may not like it at the time but I almost always see that I was wrong later. I guess it's a small step in the right direction but I got along way to go to be the person I should be. Someday.........maybe.

New Year **old post 2-07**

I've heard somewhere that we associate certain smells with certain places and times. I've noticed that alot the last year or so. It's really a pleasant thing, even some places that are not that pleasant to me have a pleasant smell in my memory.
When I go to my Aunt's house, I am almost transported back to when I was staying with them. I remember sitting in the den staring out the window listening to Pink Floyd. Or reading on the couch. Or writing in my journal. Or writing my blog. Or waiting for the bus at the front door. It's a little depressing, just cause I was so unhappy at that time. But the smell wasn't unpleasant. It was comforting. Safe.
When I get close to my Mom, I can smell her perfume. It's a great smell. She tried a new one, one time but it just didn't work. It didn't smell like her. When I smell the perfume she wears, I have a great feeling. It's the same way with my Dad. His aftershave makes me feel great. Safe. Loved. Not alone. Even Plato has a comfortable smell to me. I think it's part of them and of me.
I remember when I was living on the coast, there was a store that had an Italian Beef place next door. You could smell the food from the restaurant in the store. I could walk into that store with a blind fold on and still know where I was. It was my favorite store when I was a kid. The candy and cokes just tasted better from that store.
When I was in little league, we would practice and play at this great park. It was like some unknown force that announced it was time to play baseball. But I know it was just the smell of spring and with it the smell of Baseball ( hot dogs, grilled hamburgers, popcorn, ices, bubblegum, Gatorade, leather, dirt, wild onions, fire ants, the trees, clover, mud, chalk, and that smell of fun). Things just look and smell better when the temps warm up and the sun is riding higher in the sky. The grass is greener, the days are longer, people are nicer, and things just seem clearer.
Spring. Doesn't it have a great sound? Doesn't the sound of that word, spring, make you want to go camping, play baseball, go hiking, lay in the sun with a great book, go riding for days, walk in a field with your best friend, daydream under a shade tree, hug your Mom: tell everybody you love them. It's a great time and a GREAT SMELL.
Today things just seem great. It has the feel of spring. I don't smell flowers or tree blossoms, or anything like that. I guess it's not a smell as much as a lack of smell. The smell of winter is gone. That gloomy, dark, sad, lonely, cold, bare, mildewed smell of winter is gone.
Now I'm starting to smell spring. It's the smell of hope, life, love, birth, rebirth, happiness,..... I love that smell.
This is the time that I think is the new year. It's the rebirth of the old into the new.
So I want to tell everybody;
HAPPY NEW YEAR

Water **Old Post from 2-07**

Food. I miss food. I miss real food. I miss the taste of food. Man everything taste like plastic garbage bags. It's like you fill up the bag with garbage and let it set for a week. Then empty the garbage out and eat the bag. UMMMMMMMMMM. It's making my mouth water just thinking about it. lol. The bad thing about it is that what doesn't taste like that, is way too strong tasting. I never thought I would say these words but fried foods are horrible. Hamburger meat taste like fish. Chicken taste like greasy shoe laces wrapped around a bone coated with dirt. Everything taste like it was cooked in Havoline 10 w 30. Even stuff that isn't cooked is nasty. Ice cream, actually isn't bad till about a hour later. Milk, though, is like the anti anti-nausia medicine. Plain bread is ok. Crackers are the best. Garlic bread is a trip to the emergency room, though. lol. Mexican, Italian and Cajun food is not even an option. I don't think I could get past the smell of it to actually eat any of it. Beans are a no no. There's enough bad mojo around here as it is without those party favors going off in disasterous fashion. I'm drinking nasty gatorade and bottled water and eating those frozen flavored icies things. I can drink gatorade for just a little while then blahhhhhhhh. I have to get another flavor. They get nastier and nastier. I want a COKE. I want to hear, " Welcome to McDonalds, may we take you order please . Yes, I want a HUGE DR. PEPPER , A Quarter Pounder with cheese , and a Large Fry, make that 2 Quarter Pounders and 2 fries". I want to go to a pizza place and say, "I want a big Coke and A Large Supreme Pizza, minus the little fishes and anything that isn't Italian ( no south pacific crap or mexican crap or Haitian crap or Jamacian crap or Indian crap or Chinanese crap or Japanese crap on my pizza, PLEASE. Thank you. )." I dreamed about pizza last night. LOL.
Oh well." Mommmmmmmmmmmm, I want a blueberry water and some crackers". LOL. Tomorrow will be better and the next day will be better than that. Friday I will have me a Big Mac, fries and a Dr. Pepper ( No Quarter Pounders cause ketchup hurts my stomach real bad right now). I do pity the people that gets in my way at the counter at McDonalds Friday. LUNATIC ON A BINGE.
Here is me real soon:
"Hi I'm Kieran S and I'm an addict."
"I am addicted to flavored water that cost almost 2 dollars for a 20 oz bottle."
"I'm an abuser of blueberry and cherry H2O. Man it can get away from you quick."
"I didn't know I had a problem. I went to the fridge and they were all gone, and I kinda went crazy. I tried to suppress my needs with tap water. But it just wasn't the same. I tried pouring it over ice. Nope. I tried chilling it but it just wasn't the same. When that didn't quence my thirst, I though of going out to scrounge for some 'on the street' but I don't know that much about this culture of drinkers of unsanctioned water. So, I started making my own home brew with tap water and flavoring. Dangerous stuff. I had started an illegal H2O lab. But it just wasn't the same thing."
"That's when I knew I had a problem."
"I needed help."
"So I came here, to W.D.A."
"I've been clean
and sober
and dry for 1 hour."