My Brainfarts: Merry Christmas

MY BRAINFARTS

Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.

To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

Well I got a bunch of clothes and a new pair of Cons. But the one present I didn't want I got. I have to wear glasses since my last eye exam. My Mom wrapped them up like a present and gave them to me today. WOW did I ever pick the wrong frames (John Lennon frames). When I got my boggin and my glasses on, I look like a nerdy dick wearing a dark blue condom.

There's no way I'll ever get layed now.

2 comments:

Brian said...: Oh I'm sure you look like a cool penis, not a nerdy one. :-)

Or you can just send me a pic and I'll give you my honest judgement.; December 26, 2007 at 8:21 PM
K. said...: Some chicks dig that look.

=)

I'm sure you look fine.; December 30, 2007 at 2:39 AM