MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Life Is Grand

Here is how things have been going for the last few months.
My blood count is high, my cancer rate is high (I feel pretty good).
My cancer rate is low, my blood count is low (I feel like crap).
Then I have to take some real crappy meds to build my blood count: shots, some iv's and other things.
Then I take the stuff to kill the cancer cells.
Then meds to help me take the stuff that kills the cancer cells.
Then tests upon tests upon test, to see if there is a new test that can be performed on me.
All the time, everyone is smiling at me telling me "You look better today" or asking me "How do you feel today" (Believe me those lame smiles don't help at all).
But on the good side, I get to lay around the rest of the time, doing nothing and feeling like doing nothing (like there is anybody to do anything with around here anyway).
Well, I got to go to the hospital. Fun Fun Fun.......
Isn't life grand? I wish I had 2 more lives just like this one.
Sorry, I'm feeling down today and having a little pity party.

2 comments:

Brian said...

for what little good it'll do, i'll think good thoughts about you. just this once, though. don't get used to it!

did that lame joke help? :-)

Anonymous said...

You're never alone...jus been a little busy that's all.

catch ya later, you're not the only one who's tired, cranky & needing a nap.
Later,
S_D