I read this article about molestation and the ignored effects of societies need to spotlight all cases: no matter the consequences. It was completely different from any view of this blight on our society. It wasn't the view that most of America sees. But I think it is very eye opening. It seems that what this family should be in therapy for is the treatment by the authorities. How this family was treated was horrible and it just shows what happens when a key word is used in our society: "Molester". We get political hacks who become protectors of the people that don't need protection except from political hacks with authority.
I don't have the first hand knowledge on this subject that it seems the rest of America has. I think my family is one of the few families in America that hasn't had some horrid sexual act perpretratedon it. But a friend was molested when we were younger, at the time he was my best friend. After it happened, we did talk about it a couple of times because I knew the person that molested him too. And there was alot of stuff that my parents told me not to talk about or ask him; which the first chance we were alone, I automatically asked him. We were pretty honest with each other about just about everything and he didn't have a problem talking about it with me. I never harrassed him for details or anything like that. It was more like he just wanted to tell me what happened cause of all the stuff that other people were saying. The first time was a few weeks after it happened. He just told me what happened. The last time was a few years later, just before Hurricane Katrina, which is close to the last time I saw or talked to him. The last time he told me about everything. I don't think he left anything out.
I won't get into details or anything like that, but he did say alot of stuff that was very similar to things that were written in the article. He felt that what he had to go thru with the cops, doctors, and social workers was worse than being molested. He said that the molestation hurt but then it was over. It bothered him to a point but it wasn't something that he wanted everybody to know about. But the stuff that went on after with the people "that were trying to help him", was much worse. He said that he went to Doctors and all that went with that. All the touching and stuff what went on with that was infront of other people. He had to describe what happened to the doctor. Then later, he had to tell about it over and over again to whoever happened to need to hear it: cops, lawyers, family, therapist, social workers, etc. He said it felt like they were getting some sick pleasure from his discription of what when on. His family was so messed up because of everything. The social worker actually told his parents that he could be taken away from them if they couldn't show that their home was going to be safer (his little brother spent that first night after it happened, in the care of the state and my friend was in the hospital). His family had to get a lawyer to help them thru all of the craziness that was going on. He said that if his mother hadn't found his underwear with a blood stain in them, he would have never said anything about it, EVER. He said that as bad as being molested was, it didn't compare to the real molesting he got after. He said that he was molested by this guy and he didn't want that to happen. He hated every minute of it. He said that he didn't want to go thru all the stuff that happened after it. It was without his consent too and that no matter what, he had to keep on going because he was afraid of the social workers, lawyers, cops, doctors, etc. He said that he knew that what the guy did to him was wrong. He understood that. But what the rest of them did to him felt just as wrong. They pressured him for details. Sometimes it felt that they were telling him what they wanted to hear. His family was constantly being pressured to do this, do that...... And at no time did he feel that there was anybody, besides his family, on his side.
So what's the difference between being molested by someone and being molested by authorities trying to get information about molestation. To me they are close to the same. See his nightmares weren't about being raped but about his life being torn apart by authorities investigation his raped. See during most of it, he was a after thought. He was a means to an end. He was the way to get this person locked up. In reality, who cares about the victim (an 11 year old) anyway, when there's a predator on the loose.
I just thought about this. I do have alittle first hand knowledge about part of this. After he was molested, I was questioned by my parents a few times and a cop once. Did I ever go over to that place? Has anyone ever touched me on my privates? Blah blah blah. Like I was ever gonna fall into that trap.
My friend was killed last year in a car wreck. A drunk driver hit the car he was in. I don't know why I thought of him today. His family moved to Ohio after Kat and I've really missed having him around. For most of my life he was my best friend, my only friend. I guess I'm just tired.
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This is a great example of what happens when you have a perfectly legitimate public interest (protecting kids from being raped or sexually assaulted by adults) and inject some public hysteria. I know someone who really was sexually molested by her father. I think the guy should've rotted in jail. But back then, that sort of thing was swept under the rug. In recent years, people have decided that sort of thing should be swept under the rug. But the reaction became an overreaction. The pendulum has swing too far the other way. I read the article you post (a very good one). It was chilling.
I think what happens when hysteria rises up like this is that discretion gets thrown out the window.
A 30-something year old man sexually assault his elementary school age daughter SHOULD be considered a lot different than a 14 yo boy consensually experimenting with his 11 yo brother.
This sort of thing used to be dealt with by judges. A judge would look at this and say, "They're kids. They're experimenting. It wasn't forced. It was harmless."
But no we live in an age of zero tolerance. Zero tolerance means zero discretion, zero jugement, zero judging each case on its own merits, zero thinking.
Instead, the kid was thrown in jail. Even the "victim," the little brother, was harmed far more by the "justice" system than he was by the "perpetrator." The "criminal" was an innocent, but curious boy, but now he's in jail with hardened thugs, with REAL criminals, watching violent movies. That's his "rehabilitation."
The "justice" system took a victimless situation and made two victims out of it.
That's the real tragedy.
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