MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Horror


My Dad sleeps on the couch most of the time when he stays here. He puts his clothes and suitcase in my closet cause it's bigger that the closet in the other room. This morning I woke up early. I heard someone moving around in my room. When I opened my eyes, there was my Dad with his back to me. He was naked and bending over to get clean underware out of his suitcase on the floor. There are things in this world that should never be seen by innocent eyes and this is one of those things. I wonder if this is some rite of passage because I've actually seen one of the most horrible sights in the world and I survived. I'm alive. I'm not blind. I didn't go crazy from the horrible mental torture that I went thru. Yes, my name is Kieran and I'm a survivor. LOL.
But you know what was going thru my head at that moment: I hope that's not what my balls are gonna look like in 25 years. Isn't there like plastic surgery that you can get done to your ball sack to make it not look so ugly? Eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm so depressed. I've seen the future and it's B-U-T-T ugly. LOL.
Thank God it wasn't my Mom.

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