My Brainfarts: Heaven

MY BRAINFARTS

Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.

To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Heaven

Mom is driving us ALL crazy today. I've just about had all I can take. Just what does she expect of 3 guys in an apartment. Stuff doesn't get cleaned like if she was here all the time. The toilet doesn't need cleaned. The last time I peed, I sprayed part of it down. I try to do that every time. I expect Dad and my brother to take care of what I missed. It's clean, Right? It is to us.

I've been trying to get Dad to take her out SOMEWHERE. ANYWHERE. EVERYWHERE. Just get her out of here. I think I'm gonna take something and go lay down. Actually I should slip her something so she would lay down and go to sleep. But I'm not like that. LOL.

1 comment:

Brian said...: Moms are moms. It's just one of those unexplained things of nature.

I'll never forget moving into my college dorm. We'd just got done with packing, packing the car, a 3 hour card ride and unpacking the car (fortunately my room was on the first floor). And I was trying to get things organized what is my mom obsessing about? Spraying every freakin square inch of the room with Lysol!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!; November 17, 2007 at 5:55 PM