MY BRAINFARTS

blogspot visitor

Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

New Year **old post 2-07**

I've heard somewhere that we associate certain smells with certain places and times. I've noticed that alot the last year or so. It's really a pleasant thing, even some places that are not that pleasant to me have a pleasant smell in my memory.
When I go to my Aunt's house, I am almost transported back to when I was staying with them. I remember sitting in the den staring out the window listening to Pink Floyd. Or reading on the couch. Or writing in my journal. Or writing my blog. Or waiting for the bus at the front door. It's a little depressing, just cause I was so unhappy at that time. But the smell wasn't unpleasant. It was comforting. Safe.
When I get close to my Mom, I can smell her perfume. It's a great smell. She tried a new one, one time but it just didn't work. It didn't smell like her. When I smell the perfume she wears, I have a great feeling. It's the same way with my Dad. His aftershave makes me feel great. Safe. Loved. Not alone. Even Plato has a comfortable smell to me. I think it's part of them and of me.
I remember when I was living on the coast, there was a store that had an Italian Beef place next door. You could smell the food from the restaurant in the store. I could walk into that store with a blind fold on and still know where I was. It was my favorite store when I was a kid. The candy and cokes just tasted better from that store.
When I was in little league, we would practice and play at this great park. It was like some unknown force that announced it was time to play baseball. But I know it was just the smell of spring and with it the smell of Baseball ( hot dogs, grilled hamburgers, popcorn, ices, bubblegum, Gatorade, leather, dirt, wild onions, fire ants, the trees, clover, mud, chalk, and that smell of fun). Things just look and smell better when the temps warm up and the sun is riding higher in the sky. The grass is greener, the days are longer, people are nicer, and things just seem clearer.
Spring. Doesn't it have a great sound? Doesn't the sound of that word, spring, make you want to go camping, play baseball, go hiking, lay in the sun with a great book, go riding for days, walk in a field with your best friend, daydream under a shade tree, hug your Mom: tell everybody you love them. It's a great time and a GREAT SMELL.
Today things just seem great. It has the feel of spring. I don't smell flowers or tree blossoms, or anything like that. I guess it's not a smell as much as a lack of smell. The smell of winter is gone. That gloomy, dark, sad, lonely, cold, bare, mildewed smell of winter is gone.
Now I'm starting to smell spring. It's the smell of hope, life, love, birth, rebirth, happiness,..... I love that smell.
This is the time that I think is the new year. It's the rebirth of the old into the new.
So I want to tell everybody;
HAPPY NEW YEAR

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