MY BRAINFARTS

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Sadly it's only my thoughts, just the flatulent ooze from my mind.

Nothing profound, nothing lasting: just a moment of pure satisfaction.
Sorry if it smells.


To stop those embarrassing displays of stupidity, just take one Braino before each instance of thought. It's guaranteed to work or your money back.

Do you blow your horn,
cut the cheese,
let Polly out of jail,
pop a bean,
burnout,
launch a loaf,
shoot a bunny,
light the match,
or drop an air biscuit?
Have you ever let a breezer,
a carpet stainer,
a wet willy,
a poop gopher,
a trouser trumpet,
a sonic blast,
a cushion creeper,
a rumbler,
a string of pearls,
a hershey squirt,
a turtle head,
or a nut knocker?
If so, you can chat live with one of our licensed Flatulence Therapist. Don't go thru life thinking your the only one who's peeled the paint off the wall, chat with those who have been there and done that. Just go to "silentbutdeadly.com" and understand it's not a crime, it's a disease.
If you have a crop duster in the family and feel overwhelmed, we also have family support. If you want to plan an intervention, we can help you with that also. Don't go thru life in a fog, feeling helpless to those sphincter emissions, we can help and we care.

I you would be so kind as to leave a comment when you visit this site. Thank you so much. J

Sunday, October 7, 2007

The Land of The Free **Old Post from 7-07**

I'm probably gonna get slammed for this one, so go ahead and let me have it. I probably deserve it.
America is called " The Land of the Free ". But a better name would be " The Land of the Lawsuit ", were it is every person's right (some people think it's their responsibility) to sue someone and/or everyone for anything and everything that goes wrong in life. Sometimes I think it's every Americans ambition to sue someone: To Get Paid.
McDonald's has been sued because of their fries. How dumb is that? They were just too good, so I need a million dollars because of the pain and suffering caused by them. LOL. They've also been sued because their food was too fattening. Wow. People getting fat couldn't have been because they had no self-control, and did nothing but eat and lay around on the couch. No, it's McDonald's fault for making their food taste good instead of tasting like crap.
A dentist was sued because he put a pair of fake tusk in the mouth of a woman who worked for him, while she was under sedation during a dental procedure. He put them in and took a picture and then took them out. Then he did the regular procedure. He did it as a joke. There was nothing dangerous about it. He was known for his lively and fun work atmosphere, and he was known for joking around with the people in his office ( I know that it was in bad taste and it was probably not that funny to her ). But he was sued by that woman. Why? Because she wanted to. It was her chance to get some money. And she won. Now you may say that it was to teach the dentist a lesson and to get some form of justice. To sue him, it hurts him cause it takes away money from him. But he had insurance that covered it. But the insurance wouldn't pay. So he paid it his self. Then he took the insurance company to court and won. He also won damages because the insurance company wouldn't pay at the start and he came out real good in the whole situation. He made a lot of money off of her suing him. LOL. Yep lesson learned.
There was a guy that gave another guy a Texas Titty Twister ( where someone pinches a guys titty and twist ) and was sued because of the horrible pain, the years of suffering, and the mental anguish he endured . And he won. Such an important landmark case. Just think, I could have won more than a few lawsuits for this horrible act because it happened more than once to me in my life. LOL. I could be rich now if I had just realized I could have profited from it.
There's been people that have sued gun manufactures because the guns the those companies produce were used to kill other people. A purely political thing. See I have never heard where the fertilizer companies were sued over the Oklahoma City bombing. I haven't heard where knife companies were sued because their knives kill. I'm not trying to get into the gun thing. I'm just saying that it is an idiotic thing. If someone hit someone in the head with a baseball bat, is the company that made the bat responsible? Substitute the bat with a frying pan. Or a ice skate. Or a skateboard.
Just about every time a plane crashes, the families of the people on board sue the airlines. It's incredible how this is allowed. Yeah, it's my thought that getting in a aluminum tube with wings, going 500 miles an hour 1 mile above the Earth is safe and there should be nothing to worry about. Maybe we should sue God for not giving Earth less gravity.
Drug companies.. When something happens with medications and someone dies there seems to always be a lawsuit. Typical. But of course people will say that the drug companies shouldn't sell products that are not safe for EVERYBODY. But nothing is completely safe. Nothing is completely safe for everybody. Common sense should tell us that. I don't care if a drug company or anybody else tells me something is safe, I know there is a risk. But at the end of the day, it's our choice to take anything like that. We have the choice to take something or not. So it's our fault. It's not the fault of a company. Just like if I decide to drink a gallon of paint thinner. I did the drinking. It was my choice, not the company that makes the paint thinner. See there is no cure all and there is no guaranteed super medicine. There is a risk to taking any medications and there is a risk the medicine won't work. But no matter what, it's our choice.

See there are things I can see as worthy of suing over. One is the stupid people that fall into this category of imbeciles who sue over the results of their own choices. Everybody that files a sleazy lawsuit should be sued by the rest of the world. They should be sued and have their rights as human beings taken away from them. They should be relegated to an island where stupid, sleazy people can live without being in contact with the rest of humanity. Maybe not an island, maybe a big state. California is a good one to choose, it's already got more than a few sleazebags living there now. See nothing is safe for everybody. Take it at your own risk. I don't have an overly ambitious belief in so called cure-alls. If I live, I live. If I die, I die. I will not live or die, depending on a corporation and their imaginary miracle cure. And I will not live my life hoping that I can sue someone because of the choices I made. I can live with my choices. I also know that there is no cure for life. It always ends in death. There are some things that can prolong my life, maybe make it better, but there is no cure. And there is a risk with everything I put in my body. I'm not so dumb that I believe "IT" could never happen to me. I know it can happen to me.
The tobacco companies is another one. I'm sorry but that whole thing is wrong. People suing those companies because they smoked the companies product. I have never heard where people were being held down and were made to smoke tobacco. The people that smoke made that choice themselves and they are to blame for their own actions. It's incredibly stupid that society has felt the need to ignore this simple fact and blame people's lack of restraint on the tobacco companies.
A neighbor near me, had this couple walking up to their door. While they were on the steps the woman stepped off the edge of the step and broke her ankle. She sued my neighbors for this. Incredible. Incredibly sleazy.
The thing that happened at Selmer, Tn at the Kids for Cars parade. It was a horrible accident. Truly horrible. And within a week, there were lawsuits being filed almost everyday. People were coming out of the woodwork to try to get their piece of the pie. It's like vultures at a dead carcass. Or sharks in a blood frenzy. It's sad what happened. And it just shows how quick bad things can happen and how easy it is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
How can anyone put a price on a life besides the person living that life? I couldn't do it but it's done every second of every hour of every day in every part of the world. It's a sad part of life but it's excepted from society. But each life doesn't have the same worth in our world. We all like to think our life is priceless but in reality, it isn't (except to us). So since we (society) want a actual price tag on our lives, we have courts that help us decide what specific lives are worth. It's kinda like a product on store shelves. There's the generic brand (homeless), the store brand (the poverty level), the name brand (middle class), and then there is the Premium brand (The Unbelievably Rich). Yep we all want to be the latter but with our society the way it is and our courts the way they are; who knows what we are really worth to the rest of the world. Who knows what anybody is worth? No one really knows. But I can gaur-ronn-tee you that there is a lawyer that can come up with a number for my life if I need one. But of course to get a number like that, I would probably be dead, so it probably wouldn't matter at that point what anybody thought my life was worth.
See I don't understand about going to court to get money because of a death. It never remedies anything. It doesn't bring back a loved one. To me, there is no way it could make anyone feel better about losing a loved one, unless they weren't really a loved one to start with. To me it is a horrible thing to have a death in the family. But if I decide to sue someone to get money because of that death, it would make me feel like I was using that persons death for my own benefit. I would also feel like I somehow wanted that person to die so I could get paid. It's a cheap nasty thing to use a loved one's death to make a few dollars. It just shows how nasty and callus some human beings can be. To me it is no better than parents selling their kids for sex. It's using people in the worst way. I also can't see getting money in a lawsuit for wrongful death as a form of justice because it is not justice. It's financial gain at the expense of some one's life. It may feel like justice and look like justice to some people, but it's just a sleazy pattern of abuse by a lazy society. Yep I said abuse because it is abuse. And it's demeaning. And in my view, it's what this time in history is going to be remember for. To me, it cheapens the life of the person that died. And it makes our lives seem cheaper.
I hate that bad things happen. But I really believe that things happen for a reason. The main reason is that people don't want to be responsible for their own lives. They blindly put themselves in dangerous situations. And when something happens, it's just the next step to sue someone. It's the easy thing to do. It is a self-deluding way to deflect blame for our own actions. To me, anyone standing on the edge of a highway no matter what the situation, they are in harms way. They are putting themselves in a dangerous situation. The kids that were at the parade in Selmer, were in a dangerous place. Their parents should have known better. The cars had been doing this for years. It wasn't a new thing. Everybody knew that the cars were going to peel out and that the cars were very powerful. So if the parents allowed their kids to be in that position, the parents are the first one's to blame. It doesn't matter about the driver of the car, the city, the state, or the Cars for Kids charity. The parents should have understood that it was a dangerous thing and not something that they should be involved in.
See life is hard and life is dangerous. We need to take the blindfolds off and look at the world. It's not safe. There is no one protecting us but us. We can't rely on people to protect us. We need to protect ourselves. We need to take responsibility for our own lives because in the end, it's our life. Our lives are not as precious to other people. And suing for our own lack of judgement is never the answer. The answer is we need to use better judgement in our lives and we need to take responsibility for our own actions. We need to stop thinking that we are being protected from danger. Our only protection is ourselves. In the end, we are the blame for our own well being. We are the blame for our lives, no matter how hard we try to blame someone else.
Please don't get me wrong. I know that there are situations that constitute lawsuits. I'm not saying all lawsuits are wrong. But there doesn't seem to be a way to separate legitimate lawsuits and the sleazy ones that are the dominate ones today. The real ones are lost in the abyss of the commonsense-less and justice-less courts, and the endless flood of bad lawsuits.
Sorry if I upset anyone. I just hate the way everything seems so nasty right now. I just wonder if things have been this way my whole life and I'm just now seeing it. A couple of years ago, things didn't seem so bad.. Society didn't seem so predatory. Life didn't seem so bleak. Now it seems that it has become so easy for people to be dishonest. No one even cares any more as long as it's not directly affecting them. Nothing seems right. I just wonder if it's me or what. And I know it seems that I am always down on people and life in general. But I'm really not. It's just that when I see so much bad stuff going on, it makes me not want to trust. When I see so much dishonesty, it's hard to believe that there is honesty in anything. Every time someone cheats it makes everybody else's lives just a little bit harder. No matter how horrible the story, if it is against a "evil corporation", or how rich the defendant is: I don't see winning a frivolous lawsuit as something to be celebrated. To me, it's just wrong. Because every time someone wins one of those frivolous lawsuits against a perceived bad person/company, it makes it easier for someone to win a frivolous lawsuit against regular people like me or you. And I don't know about anybody else but I can't afford to be sued right now. Or ever. LOL.

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